i saw him.i saw him at a movie theater,enjoying his life,smiling.without me.my son,i wish i could have been there for you,but i see you have grown well without me.my horrible wed addiction has torn the bond between us.a bond that i cannot repair.i have ripped my last bong.goodbye my son.i wish you well.tell your mother i’m sorry.

woke up crieing today.i wonder if my son ever crys.i do.

i wonder if my son has ever smoked weed.did he enjoy it.does the combination of cannabis and sadness fill the hole in his heart as it does mine.do not worry son.soon i will be home.

i saw a dog today.it looked like the dog my son and i used to have.it was a golden retriever.i miss that dog.i miss my son.he would have liked that dog.

i miss him so much.one day i want to be able to see him again.i know he will be angry w/ me but when he takes his first bong hit he will understand why i left him.i miss you son, it’s so hard not seeing you.i’ll be home soon son.

gotta rip this bong real quick.will post more later.